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people like me should avoid food

Step I
Call sister to chat
Step II
Pour glass of water
Step III
Drop ice cube tray in sink (should take it as a sign)
Step IV
Put bread in toaster to make toast for breakfast
Step V
Walk into living room and promptly forget toaster /on high/ that doesn't pop by itself
Step VI
Smell smoke and wonder where it's coming from
Step VII
Notice blue grey smoke marching out of kitchen
Race into kitchen, explaining to sister why you're about to hang up on her as you see twin flames shooting up out of the toaster slots high enough to scorch the hood
Step IX
Manually raise the flaming toast, grab blackened slices with bare fingers and catapult them into into sink, noticing the extra plumes of smoke that billows that extinguishing flames creates
Step X
Run around flapping towel to move smoke towards open windows
Step XI
Answer door to neighbour who says they're worried because they can smell smoke
Step XII
Look at little red light on smoke detector and wonder why you and the startled cats are not going deaf
Decide to clean up the entire house should this happen again and hunky firefighters have to come in to extinguish the blaze (unfortunately this will pass as soon as the adrenaline leaves the bloodstream)
Step XIV
Vow to never warm up, heat, boil, fry, toast or cook food again
Step XV
Wonder how you're going to get the smoky smell out of the upholstery and your clothes, wonder if the toaster is, well, toast, and marvel at the fact that you didn't have a heart attack

And how's your week-end going so far?


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 2nd, 2008 06:58 pm (UTC)
I hate when things like that happen.

I hope you get the smoke smell out soon.
Feb. 2nd, 2008 09:05 pm (UTC)
And they were my last two slices of bread too! No breakfast for me.
The windows are wide open *brrrrrr* but it's starting to smell a little fresher in here. (and the cats have finally come out from under the bed) All will be good. *snuggles*
Feb. 2nd, 2008 07:11 pm (UTC)
OH DOOOOOOOD. Febreeze!! Unless you're fussy about Febreeze smell, but. I like it and don't settle for the crappy-ass cheap knock-offs; Febreeze is where it's at!

Hey, do you want to perhaps hang out on the 16th of Feb? I was thinking of coming over on Friday night (Feb 15th) and spending the night, and then we can spend all of Saturday doing pretentious artsy things together, eheheh. I'll try and bring my laptop, if I'm not feeling too lazy! I don't know if Ris/Sabu would be able to hang out as well, but we can ask them too.

And hopefully the 16th will give you enough time to tidy up a bit. I can always help you when I come over; for some reason it's always more fun to clean up someone else's house, ahahahaha.

Feb. 2nd, 2008 09:17 pm (UTC)
FeBreeze has been sprayed! Thank Gawd I had a can!!! Windows have been left WIDE open despite chilly toes and one orange cat that thinks screens = climbing time! It's slowly airing out. (a friend also gave me this fain/purifying gizmo recently and I think it's helping)

The 15th & 16th would be wonderful!! I'd love to hang out and do artsy things together. I've been thinking of going down to Loomis and Toles on Main and pick up some different sized/shaped canvases. Would you be interested in joining me? Maybe on Friday afternoon/evening so we don't have to leave the house on Saturday if we don't want to?
Will you ask Mutt & Jeff if they'd care to join us or shall I? :o)

(edited to remove bad coding)

(gonna go and answer your 'because I'm bossy' email now)

Edited at 2008-02-02 09:20 pm (UTC)
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )



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