Chootoy (chootoy) wrote,
Chootoy
chootoy

people like me should avoid food

Step I
Call sister to chat
Step II
Pour glass of water
Step III
Drop ice cube tray in sink (should take it as a sign)
Step IV
Put bread in toaster to make toast for breakfast
Step V
Walk into living room and promptly forget toaster /on high/ that doesn't pop by itself
Step VI
Smell smoke and wonder where it's coming from
Step VII
Notice blue grey smoke marching out of kitchen
Step VIII
Race into kitchen, explaining to sister why you're about to hang up on her as you see twin flames shooting up out of the toaster slots high enough to scorch the hood
Step IX
Manually raise the flaming toast, grab blackened slices with bare fingers and catapult them into into sink, noticing the extra plumes of smoke that billows that extinguishing flames creates
Step X
Run around flapping towel to move smoke towards open windows
Step XI
Answer door to neighbour who says they're worried because they can smell smoke
Step XII
Look at little red light on smoke detector and wonder why you and the startled cats are not going deaf
Step XIII
Decide to clean up the entire house should this happen again and hunky firefighters have to come in to extinguish the blaze (unfortunately this will pass as soon as the adrenaline leaves the bloodstream)
Step XIV
Vow to never warm up, heat, boil, fry, toast or cook food again
Step XV
Wonder how you're going to get the smoky smell out of the upholstery and your clothes, wonder if the toaster is, well, toast, and marvel at the fact that you didn't have a heart attack

And how's your week-end going so far?
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