Chootoy (chootoy) wrote,

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*It* was dark and explosive and unexpected.

Came out with such venom that no one dared move.

*It* was over as quickly as it began.

He hid in bed for 4 days afterwards, thinking they all probably hated him, they all probably were considering replacing him...

Justin, man. I feel sorry for you cause you pretend to be the indifferent little bastard who doesnt give a crap.
Above it all to care.
But you do. And it eats you up.
I see it.
But you pretend instead that youre dealing with it.
Its bullshit, man!
And Chris.
Chris, well you pretend like you *give a fuck*, but you dont.
Not any more, not like you used to.
Maybe you never fucking did!
Poor Lance.
Youre so bad at it, its pathetic. But you try.
You try to pretend you like all this shit. But you don't.
You never did. You never will.
Anybody who took the time to look would see that.
And Joey, man.
Youve convinced even yourself.
You pretend so hard, that you trust the rest of us.
But take a good close look.
Don't just pretend to look!
Take a good goddamned look, guys!
You'll see it. He doesn't trust any of us.
He might have at one time, but not any more.
And me.
I pretend all the time.
I pretend like I don't get half the fucking insults you throw at me.
Cause, yknow why?
Cause it's safer to look clueless than hurt.
I pretend every second of every fucking day when I'm with you guys.
I pretend to love you guys. Pretend to NEED you guys.
Pretend so hard that I've convinced myself that I do.
Well, guess what, I don't.
*We* dont need each other that fucking much...Not anymore.
Now why dont you all just go on and *pretend* real hard that I just didn't say any of what I just did.

The flash flood was over and he was gone.

They stared at the floor, out the window, at their hands in silence.

They pretended this wouldnt change things.


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