March 27th, 2002


I need a car

Public Transit + Me

Why do the most annoying people always seem to sit next to me in the Skytrain when I have a tolerance level of 0.05 on a scale of 1 � 10. Ten being the top> being oblivious to everything> being zoned out> being a blip above brain dead> having achieved Nirvana.
On these 0.05 days, I always seem to get people with the crinkliest food wrappers on the planet that they seem to have to open and close repeatedly and proceed to eat the noisiest food in existance sitting beside me. Chips are the best for this exercise.
And just before I explode, they get off, I sigh, another random act of transit murder thwarted. Phew! I even relax a moment UNTIL one of the following sits down beside me.
[if you ride transit, please tell me you understand where I�m coming from.} Yesterday I got to watch and listen to a woman slurp her way around an apple, juices dribbling and all.

Transit riders I share my personal space with:
[Please feel free to add your faves to the list]

The gum snapper.
The snot snorter.
The phlemy cougher.
The wet sneezer.
The guy who�s body odor and/ or breath hums in the key of p.u.
The lude leering fucks who prefer to stand over you so that they can rub their semi hard dicks against your shoulder.
The nose pickers. Who might move onto..
The snot eaters, flickers or wipers.
The crotch adjusters.
The Turettes sufferer that snorts and barks loudly.
The window sill chewing freak. [there�s one on my train]
The walking distillary (that�s the 8:00 a.m. train).
The cranky loaded/smelly diapered wailing white trash toddlers.
The walk/diskman, hearing impaired loser who�s sharing their poor taste in music with the rest of us.
The woman enveloped in a cloud of stale and/or cheap perfume.

Did I miss anybody?

Why doesn't a Chris or JC or Lance or Joey or Justin come and park one of their adorable little heinies down beside me on the skytrain some mornings? Is that really too much to ask?

Boy, I gotta get a car.

But, hey, at least I got a seat this morning.
Life could be worse, right?

so, like that's all I guess I have to say on that...until the next freak on transit nudges me over the edge. :o)
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