February 7th, 2002


(no subject)

*It* was dark and explosive and unexpected.

Came out with such venom that no one dared move.

*It* was over as quickly as it began.

He hid in bed for 4 days afterwards, thinking they all probably hated him, they all probably were considering replacing him...

Justin, man. I feel sorry for you cause you pretend to be the indifferent little bastard who doesnt give a crap.
Above it all to care.
But you do. And it eats you up.
I see it.
But you pretend instead that youre dealing with it.
Its bullshit, man!
And Chris.
Chris, well you pretend like you *give a fuck*, but you dont.
Not any more, not like you used to.
Maybe you never fucking did!
Poor Lance.
Youre so bad at it, its pathetic. But you try.
You try to pretend you like all this shit. But you don't.
You never did. You never will.
Anybody who took the time to look would see that.
And Joey, man.
Youve convinced even yourself.
You pretend so hard, that you trust the rest of us.
But take a good close look.
Don't just pretend to look!
Take a good goddamned look, guys!
You'll see it. He doesn't trust any of us.
He might have at one time, but not any more.
And me.
I pretend all the time.
I pretend like I don't get half the fucking insults you throw at me.
Cause, yknow why?
Cause it's safer to look clueless than hurt.
I pretend every second of every fucking day when I'm with you guys.
I pretend to love you guys. Pretend to NEED you guys.
Pretend so hard that I've convinced myself that I do.
Well, guess what, I don't.
*We* dont need each other that fucking much...Not anymore.
Now why dont you all just go on and *pretend* real hard that I just didn't say any of what I just did.

The flash flood was over and he was gone.

They stared at the floor, out the window, at their hands in silence.

They pretended this wouldnt change things.

  • Current Music
    "If I Could Hold You Tonight" The Bodeans

"I Can't Sleep"

The bus was dark. The shades tightly drawn. Only the steady drone of the tires on the asphalt to be heard.
They rumbled peacefully through the night on to their way to their next city, their next venue. The three man bus was
quiet. Sort of. Chris lay wide awake in his bunk staring at the shadows.

Juppy! Chris whispered hoarsely.

Whuuh? came Justins sleep soggy mumble.

Are you sleeping? Chris whispered again.

Yes. an edge of irritation.

...no you're not.

I was until- he began, annoyed.

I can't sleep. whined Chris dramatically.

So! Justin sparked.

So, get up with me, ('kay?) Chris pleaded.

No. I'm sleeping. Justin punched his pillow into a different shaped lump.

Awwww? said Chris with just the hint of a whine.

No. he snapped.

Please? said Chris in full whine.

Go away. his voice muffled as he turned inward to face the wall.

Fine. Chris pouted.

And be quiet! Justin was already slipping back into sleep.

Fine. cranked Chris.

Good. purred Justin, not really hearing him.

- Thud - Stomp - Stomp - Stomp - Bang - Rattle - Drag - Scratch
- Boing - "Shit!" - Whir - Click - Click - Click - Oh, shit!
- Crack - Thud - "Oh,oh."

Justin stood in doorway, scowling.

Oh good! You're up. smiled Chris.

No. I'm. Not. grumbled Justin.

Uhmm. Dude... Chris raised an eyebrow, giving him a ~you're standing here talking to me~ look.

I'm here to put you to bed.

Yeah. Right. Chris chuckled and turned his attention back to his video game.

No. I'm serious. You're going back to bed. Now.

I'll be quiet. said Chris, not looking back at Justin.

No you won't. said Justin, pulling a yeah, right face at Chris's turned back.

I promise. Chris smiled over his shoulder.

Bed. Now. he pointed down the short hallway.

You can't "ORDER" me to bed. laughed Chris, terribly amused.

Do I have to come over there? asked Justin, fists on hips.

Fuck off. Chris laughed looking back at Justin's pose.

I'll do it! he waggled a threatening finger at him.

Riiiiight. snorted Chris returning to his game.

Justin was across the the carpet in 3 steps.
The controls went flying as Chris scrambled over the back of the sofa but Justin snared an ankle and pulled.

Lemmego infant! growled Chris splayed out on his back with one leg suspended in the air from Justin's firm grip.

Once you're put away.

Justin grabbed Chris around his waist ~squaaawk~ and hoisted him over his shoulder like a sack of flour.

To Chris's delight, he was tossed down in Justin's bed and not his own, and laughing, he scrambled out of the way as the
long limbed creature follows him in.

Shhh. You'll wake up JC.

*Ill* wake up JC?! Chris countered failing to bat away grabby hands.

- Giggles - Squeals - Ouch - Sorry - Teehee - Shhhh
- tickle - Stoppit - No, no oo,oo! - Shhhh! - Thump
- Ow! - Snort - Giggle - Sorry

I'm trying to sleep here. came a cranky voice from JCs bunk.

Sorry, C, Yeah, sorry, man.

- Muffled giggles - Pretend snoring - Explosive laughter
- More thuds - grunts - and yelps that slowly settled down to. . .

- murmurs - rustling fabric - slippery wet sounds - low groans
- sighs - grunts - protesting springs - steady thumps - cresting whimpers and finally - relaxed, steady breathing . . .

*blink* Great... *sigh* JC lay wide awake in his bunk.

Hey, are you guys asleep? called JC staining to hear noise coming from Justin's bunk.

Yeah. Yes.

You are not.

We were. Chris snarked.

I can't sleep.

So. Chris snapped.

So! It's your fault!

So. Justin stretched lazily and turned over.

Well, get up with me.

No! Chris yelled at him in the dark.

Frustrated, JC, lay there listening to the other two settle deeper into sleep. He was too uncomfortable after listening to
them to sleep.
He reached under the sheet slowly, only the slightest rasp of fabric being brushed aside. A shaky sigh escaped his lips as
he touched himself. He consider stopping but didn't think he could now and so he pleasured himself, alone in the dark only a few feet from the others.

- Groans - Wet noises - Whimpers - Sighs - Steady thuds - Shudder
- The rustle of fabric - Stillness.

Are you finished, we're trying to sleep over here.

Oh, fuck off. he wailed in shame.

- Muffled snickers - kisses - sighs - steady regular breathing.

Only the steady drone of the tires on the asphalt to be heard.

x x x
  • Current Music
    Album: baja Sessions/Chris Isaac