booooooooooooooonnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

*goes into coma*

The BoDeans! I saw them with my boyfriend (though now I can't remember whether we were actually dating at the time--it's a long story) in Portland a few years ago. They rocked. It was great fun.

I'm 44. Though I've kinda been practicing saying I'm 45, even though it's not for six months, just so it's not such a blow when it happens, you know? *grin*

And I don't know if the long story is interesting, just long. Um, the Reader's Digest version is: We met at the gym, I fell hard (according to his sister and his mom, he did, too, but who knows), we dated for about six months, his family loved me. But I went on the pill, became a weepy hormonal mess, he broke up with me (not sure, and probably never will know, if those two are connected). We went on a ten-day road-trip vacation anyway, just the two of us, managed to have a great time, to our surprise. Stayed close friends for almost three years, had one somewhat regrettable one-nighter in the middle of all that. Drifted apart after awhile...

I dunno. I was in love with him for a long, long time after we broke up. (He took the picture in the icon, and I think part of what makes it such a flattering photo is that I was in love with him, you know?) But we had a lot of areas that would have been problematic in the long run. His sister and his mom both told me that they really thought I was the one, but they might have been trying to make me feel better. I sort of think he's the kind of guy who's just happier single, but I don't know that either. I used to joke that he's kind of like the urban version of Prairie Home Companion's Norweigian Bachelor Farmers--only lots cleaner than Garrison Keillor's description of them. He likes to iron. *grin* Pretty cool, since I hate, HATE, to iron.

Nice guy. Funny, interesting, sexy, quirky. It just didn't work out, for reasons I'm not sure of... And I sort of think that's not all that unusual, the not really knowing why it didn't work out, it just didn't. At least he was honest with me, and didn't string me along, or fuck around and lie, or be an ass so I would be the bad guy and break up with him. There's a lot to be said for that.

Anyhoo, the BoDeans concert was in there somewhere--a birthday present, as I recall, though I don't remember if it was from him to me, or me to him.

And aren't you sorry you asked! *snerk*

Better late than never, they say, but...

Yeah. I guess sometimes it's hard to remember that, while I'm single now, and I've never had a really long relationship, I've definitely had love. That fella, and one other guy, and one girl. And some others that I really liked a lot, and was really happy to be with. And none of them ever really did me any serious damage (outside of the usual breaking up/screwing around/welcome to being human stuff)--no abuse, no outrageous betrayals.

So, yeah, it's all good, as long as you can remember the balance of it all, you know? The books and movies and stories, I think, leave us feeling like we should have those glowy times, but they should be hours and years of glowing, not just moments. Whereas, in reality, they are moments, and then the rest of the time we're just living our lives, up and down and pretty normal. And that goes for the JCs of the world as well as for us out here in the hinterlands...

Anyway. Thanks for reminding of all that. It helps to keep things in perspective, you know?

You know, one thing I think affects my view of it all is being bi--when you've only ever dated one gender, it's easy to say "Men suck!" and blame all heartbreaks on the evils of that gender. But I've been involved with about equal numbers of men and women, and been loved/respected/screwed over/fucked around on/hurt by about equally between them. Including the "fucked around on" part, which tradition has it is primarily a male trait. Not true, not in my experience.

So, I don't know, that seems to make it easier for me to let it go, you know?

And, lordy, don't I sound like a wise old elder or some annoying thing. *grin* I promise to stop now...

Those pictures made my head explode - some of my fav. men, all together. Do you know when these were taken?

I saw the Bodeans at the Fillmore in SF some years back, and it was one of the best shows *ever.*. They're so amazing live.

Geez, what I *meant* to say in my comment was thank you for posting these - they made my day. :)