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I need a car

Public Transit + Me

Why do the most annoying people always seem to sit next to me in the Skytrain when I have a tolerance level of 0.05 on a scale of 1 � 10. Ten being the top> being oblivious to everything> being zoned out> being a blip above brain dead> having achieved Nirvana.
On these 0.05 days, I always seem to get people with the crinkliest food wrappers on the planet that they seem to have to open and close repeatedly and proceed to eat the noisiest food in existance sitting beside me. Chips are the best for this exercise.
And just before I explode, they get off, I sigh, another random act of transit murder thwarted. Phew! I even relax a moment UNTIL one of the following sits down beside me.
[if you ride transit, please tell me you understand where I�m coming from.} Yesterday I got to watch and listen to a woman slurp her way around an apple, juices dribbling and all.

Transit riders I share my personal space with:
[Please feel free to add your faves to the list]

The gum snapper.
The snot snorter.
The phlemy cougher.
The wet sneezer.
The guy who�s body odor and/ or breath hums in the key of p.u.
The lude leering fucks who prefer to stand over you so that they can rub their semi hard dicks against your shoulder.
The nose pickers. Who might move onto..
The snot eaters, flickers or wipers.
The crotch adjusters.
The Turettes sufferer that snorts and barks loudly.
The window sill chewing freak. [there�s one on my train]
The walking distillary (that�s the 8:00 a.m. train).
The cranky loaded/smelly diapered wailing white trash toddlers.
The walk/diskman, hearing impaired loser who�s sharing their poor taste in music with the rest of us.
The woman enveloped in a cloud of stale and/or cheap perfume.

Did I miss anybody?


Feh..
Why doesn't a Chris or JC or Lance or Joey or Justin come and park one of their adorable little heinies down beside me on the skytrain some mornings? Is that really too much to ask?

Boy, I gotta get a car.

But, hey, at least I got a seat this morning.
Life could be worse, right?

so, like that's all I guess I have to say on that...until the next freak on transit nudges me over the edge. :o)

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
ms_nerd
Mar. 27th, 2002 11:23 am (UTC)
I can SO RELATE!! Every damn day this week, I have been to HELL and back on BCTransit. Oh, it's just fucking wonderful riding public transit, isn't it? I've experienced all you have in the 3 short months I've lived in Vancouver, with the added bonus of having the snarky teenagers on the Main Street or Fraser bus that don't move for anyone. They don't even give up their seats for old people!!

I love it when they stand in front of the back door, blocking me from exiting. This happened yesterday:

me: are you getting off the bus?
him: yeah
me: so get off!
him: not here
me: can you move please?
him: blink
me: fucking MOVE!!!
And then I had to go to the next stop, because the bus was moving by then. THANKS!!!

What I do to ignore others is to have my walkman on ALL THE TIME. This discourages people from talking to you, and you can't hear their annoying little sounds. Sunglasses are also a must. Or a book. It's a good thing handguns are illegal up here eh!

Henry Rollins said it best in his book "Smile, You're Travelling":

Get on the bus (plane, whatever)
Sit the fuck down
Shut the fuck up (hence the icon)

N
chootoy
Mar. 27th, 2002 01:20 pm (UTC)
transit
BCtransit SUCKS!SUCKS!SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!in my humble opinion.
And to add insult to injury - they're raising the fares at the beginning of April.
I think I'll invest in a diskman and have *NSync lulling me into a nirvana like calm while being jostled by the other rats packed into the train with me. The sunglasses are already part of my avoid-eye-contact-at-all-cost accessories. I get weird looks in the tunnels after 'Stadium' cause they don't come off. Shit, I'm even wearing them in the rain between the station and work.

lance_nerd, y'wanna carpool?
You, me, Stubbleglitter, Glockgal and Silversolace can all sit in the car stuck in highway traffic jams listening to the puppies at full volume and be blissfully unaware of all the other snarling commuters around us!

I so need to get a car. vroom vroom!
ms_nerd
Mar. 27th, 2002 02:28 pm (UTC)
Re: transit
Dude, I'm all over the carpooling thing. I get my vehicle this weekend THANK GOD!!

BUT only if you can grab the wheel while I do the "Bye Bye Bye" hand movements :D

Yes, get a discman, walkman, anything! I can't tell you how good it is to sit there with your eyes closed and listen to Chris during IDMC. Or JC sing "Bye Byeeeee Baby". It's yes!!
silvrsolace
Mar. 27th, 2002 09:54 pm (UTC)
oh, Lt, yeah...i remember the transit fuck-nuts i use to get when i went to Langara...i think you forgot the fresh out of high school bitches with their triangular shaped pants and their fuck you snarls who tongue their boyfriends down with one eye open looking at you...*shivers* oh grosse man, i fuckin' hate some of the fuck nut teenagers on the bus...or or or...those Freak granola eating monkeys (again a Langara student) with the Patchulie sented B.O. covering method that doesn't quite work...My walkman was never enough on the bus...never!

Oh man, if i had the money babe...i'd bye the both of us a PT cruiser each, yo...i really gotta check that lotto ticket of mine!
chootoy
Mar. 28th, 2002 08:27 pm (UTC)
PT Cruisers!
Oh heyhey baby girl! :o)
One day, one day. We can dream.
We should go to a dealer and take a test drive.
Take pictures of us in a red one...
silvrsolace
Mar. 28th, 2002 11:07 pm (UTC)
Re: PT Cruisers!
Oh oh oh oh!!!! YES...because yes, we must do this, oh Lt, we'll dress up so it looks like we can afford one of those gorgeous pieces of machinery. Yes, we will do this when exams are finished...no really! you know why? BECAUSE YES!

*mwah*
chootoy
Mar. 29th, 2002 07:48 am (UTC)
Re: PT Cruisers!
I'm gonna hold you to it!
Do we drag the sisters along of the 'ride' or embarrass just ourselves?
All we've got to figure out now is where to find a Chrysler dealership here that will fall for our
'we can-afford-one-of-these-cruisers' disguises.
Yellow pages, where are my yellow pages...
silvrsolace
Mar. 29th, 2002 08:40 am (UTC)
Re: PT Cruisers!
The Richmond auto mall...we can cruise all the different vehicles, and just make it like a test driving day...becasuse why? Because yes!
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )